Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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