Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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