another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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