How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is Oprah even human
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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