I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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