I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
jump out the window naked night went bad
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