i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
