It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Randomize
