He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
