i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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