After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Randomize
