This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You took a bar mat shot.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
