dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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