Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
