Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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