he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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