its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
