also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
