He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
