you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
