Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
