she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.