youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.