Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.