I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
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I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
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We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!