Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women

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  (586): A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women http://tfl.nu/ivdc
  Replies (3) Good night (1552) Bad night (512)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts

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  (319): Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts http://tfl.nu/snvl
  Replies (51) Good night (5057) Bad night (922)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?

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  (256): Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face? http://tfl.nu/ju4e
  Replies (7) Good night (812) Bad night (2896)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?

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  (617): why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency? http://tfl.nu/lb38
  Replies (35) Good night (3295) Bad night (622)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.

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  (971): Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them. http://tfl.nu/y8vc
  Replies (10) Good night (3625) Bad night (1513)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.

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  (503): Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously. http://tfl.nu/epia
  Replies (10) Good night (777) Bad night (5227)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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  (814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw
  Replies (6) Good night (2713) Bad night (1038)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.

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  (317): that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead. http://tfl.nu/rwpy
  Replies (5) Good night (908) Bad night (1898)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life

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  (956): Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life http://tfl.nu/cpkm
  Replies (13) Good night (2108) Bad night (650)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers

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  (647): I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers http://tfl.nu/b7h6
  Replies (6) Good night (489) Bad night (927)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.

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  (717): We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes. http://tfl.nu/zq4p
  Replies (5) Good night (1919) Bad night (516)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.

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  (913): But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress. http://tfl.nu/jhgc
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (393)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me

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  (615): Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me http://tfl.nu/3qkc
  Replies (1) Good night (909) Bad night (480)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!

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  (801): I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner! http://tfl.nu/dody
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (327)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.

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  (214): On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded. http://tfl.nu/gjfr
  Replies (3) Good night (432) Bad night (254)

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