Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i can't wait to go to hell

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure

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  (248): i can't wait to go to hell (1-248): yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure http://tfl.nu/7pwb
  Replies (2) Good night (1746) Bad night (793)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...

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  (780): just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon... http://tfl.nu/csyn
  Replies (19) Good night (4726) Bad night (821)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend

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  (651): i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend http://tfl.nu/co7p
  Replies (26) Good night (964) Bad night (5823)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear

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  (847): but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear http://tfl.nu/o189
  Replies (16) Good night (4441) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.

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  (617): Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are. http://tfl.nu/448e
  Replies (11) Good night (1763) Bad night (764)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.

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  (706): I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today. http://tfl.nu/vvd3
  Replies (10) Good night (2228) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.

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  (603): FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/9ddg
  Replies (6) Good night (745) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Promise me you won't have sex in my room

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.

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  (954): Promise me you won't have sex in my room (248): I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try (248): Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge. http://tfl.nu/lf7v
  Replies (2) Good night (1402) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That is the exact response I was looking for.

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  (202): Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef (240): Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst! (202): That is the exact response I was looking for. http://tfl.nu/qkl0
  Replies (8) Good night (1718) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...

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  (413): Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs... http://tfl.nu/m2io
  Replies (11) Good night (1409) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.

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  (803): Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time. http://tfl.nu/1oum
  Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.

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  (386): He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids. http://tfl.nu/ivvs
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar

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  (260): I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar http://tfl.nu/i4or
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.

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  (864): Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that. http://tfl.nu/xcwk
  Replies (1) Good night (362) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend

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  (248): Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/qb9e
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (179)

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