just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
