Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My penis needs a shock collar
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
