i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
