Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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