I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
