i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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