Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
