she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
