DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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