she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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