There is no way he is gay with that hair.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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