addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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