so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
