I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
