I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
