do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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