How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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