I wish I could teleport
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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