let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
