Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
