i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Houston, we have a squirter
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
