Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
