oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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