They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
