nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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