maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
