you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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