chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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