hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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