I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm like, not good at living.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
