Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
