Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
