what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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