You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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