i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
