Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
