i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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