I didn't shave. On purpose
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
