my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You are the jesus of drinking
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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