That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
