i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
