I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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