I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
